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Traveling with Children: The Long Drive Adventurous families know that having the kids along adds to rather than detracting from the journey. We take our children with us because we enjoy their company, and we enjoy doing things together as a family, strengthening those ties through shared experience. With air travel increasingly more expensive, most of us travel by automobile. With advance planning, flexibility, and a sense of humor, those long car rides can be both memorable and enjoyable. "Are we there yet?" can be one of the most annoying things to repeatedly hear on a long trip. Head this off by providing each child with his own map and a grease pencil or soft-led colored pencil (a grease pencil is safer than a pen or lead pencil, yet wipes off upholstery more easily than a marker). Mark the beginning and end points, and food/bathroom stops along the way. Then encourage them to track your trip on their maps. Turn it around on them. "Are we halfway yet?" Making him your navigator not only keeps him from the incessant questioning, it helps his math, map and reading skills at the same time. Other things to pack include your child's favorite music or story tapes, books, and self-contained games. Don't forget her pillow and her favorite blanket. Bring wipies whether you have babies or not. They're great for quick cleanups. A plastic grocery bag makes a good trash container to keep the vehicle ship-shape. Bring an extra for who-knows-what. It doesn't take much room, but has a lot of uses. A roll of t.p. stashed in the glove box is a welcome relief when a rest stop is out. A first-aid kit fits nicely under the seat for those unexpected happenings. One small toy, some stickers, coloring books and soft-lead colored pencils can keep children busy for long periods of time. If you bring crayons, make certain they're all accounted for when she's finished. Otherwise, the sun will melt them into a messy stain. Pack enough to keep her busy into a small bag or backpack that can slide under the seat. That said, make certain there is as much room as possible in the passenger area of the car. A cramped child with no leg room and too many blankets and toys will be a lot more fidgety than one whose immediate area is neatly arranged. Use the under the seat space to its fullest, as well as the car's trunk or van's back. Pack plenty of snacks and water to drink. A water bottle or no-spill cup for each child may make for an extra bathroom stop or two along the way, but a thirsty child is a cranky child. It's well worth the extra few minutes at a rest stop to have a well-hydrated family. A sugared drink won't quench thirst the way water will. Likewise, for snacks steer clear of highly-sugared and nutritionally empty selections. For the younger crowd, dried fruit, yogurt raisins, rice cakes and string cheese make excellent choices. You can add shelled nuts and peanut butter for the older crowd. These aren't as good an idea for toddlers and young children because the worry of choking may distract you from concentrating on driving. Keep in mind that trash has a way of finding itself into every nook and cranny of your vehicle on a long haul, so plan snacks with minimal residue. Bananas and crackers are great for rest stops, but cracker crumbs and smeared banana can add to road misery. Best to keep on-the-go snacks simple and trash-free. The jelly sandwich can wait for the next rest stop, to be relished under a shade tree, with spills as a feast for the ants rather than a sticky nightmare in the car. Make those stops frequent and long enough to shake out the wigglies. Resist the urge to drive straight through. It will pay off in the long run, with the children arriving at your destination happy and excited, rather than sullen at a too-long ride. Many major highways have developed rest stops where children can run, use the bathroom, grab a quick snack and simply be out of the car. Let your children know how long the stop will be, and approximately how long until the next one. There will be less reluctance to return to the vehicle when they know that they'll be stopping again in two hours. For children who don't tell time, use their favorite show as a measure. "We'll be stopping again in the amount of time that four Wild Thornberrys would take." The measure is easier to grasp than one hundred twenty minutes. If you have the choice, drive the early morning or late evening hours. Not only will you miss scads of traffic, but your children will be sleeping during the drive. Recognize that you will need to be flexible for bathroom stops when they first wake up, but leaving at 5 a.m. gives you two or three solid hours of driving under your belt that doesn't count as far as the kids are concerned. If you are a natural "night person", after-dinner driving can be ideal. Just don't plan to drive past the time when you are alert. There are some times when it's necessary to concentrate more intently than usual on the road before you. It might be bad weather, heavy traffic, weariness, or simply an unfamiliar terrain. Whatever the reason, there are times when the driver needs silence. The driver can explain the gravity of a dangerous road and the need for concentration. For some children, this is sufficient. Others need more. One way to calm a noisy bunch is to have a Quiet Contest. Set an end time, and a reward. "Whomever can be the quietest for the next ten minutes gets to choose where we eat dinner." Peer (sibling) pressure can be positive as well as negative! Sometimes, despite the best planning, a child will react negatively to a long car ride. Being in close quarters mean that disruptions affect everyone in the car. One misbehaving child can make everyone tense and turn a happy trip into a stressful one. Successful traveling with children requires creative discipline. First ask yourself if he is hungry or in need of a bathroom. But if he is simply expending extra energy in the form of needling his sister, nip the behavior in the bud. "Okay, since you can't keep your hands still, I want you to pat your head and rub your belly for the next five minutes." Five minutes is a long time, and the temptation to misdirect his hands may be rethought next time. If more direct discipline is required, don't wait for the next scheduled stop. Discipline meted out swiftly (in the method you have found to be effective with your children) will head off escalation, and restore a happy balance. While getting there may not necessarily be half the fun, with proper planning, it can be a pleasant part of a family vacation. Before you pack up the kids and crank up the car, spend a little time at the kitchen table making lists and specific plans. Your whole family will be the better for it! (c) 1998 Julie Gentry note: this article first appeared in Monterey County Family Magazine Click the appropriate words to go back
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