First decide on your guest list. Obviously, you won't be throwing the same type of party for half a dozen 5 year olds as you would for your daughter's bridal tea. If you opt for a formal or large tea party, try to get invitations out at least two weeks in advance. Make sure to include appropriate attire (little girls in fancy dresses are so precious!), and what the guests should bring (they may be helping with food, or they may all be bringing a favorite doll or stuffed animal).
Now decide what type of tea you'd like to have. It can be very casual, formal, themed, or any way you choose! But choose or it won't come together as nicely. Historical tea parties are fun, and the possibilities are many. Biographical teas (such as a Laura Ingalls Wilder theme) also offer a lot of ideas. We have even been to a tea that was all about flowers. Choose one that YOU like.
Now that you know how many, who, and what type/theme, select a venue. If you have a big enough living or dining room, that's great! Remember that an outside tea can be nice, too. A larger party requires a little creativity. How about a nearby church, VFW hall, a friend's castle (thanks Mrs.Powell! [below]), or even a park if it's summer time? The venue itself need not be beautiful -- you will make it so with your decorations. The party to the right was held in a craft room --yet it was beautifully elegant because of the decorations and attention to detail.
So, what will you use for decorations? They should follow your theme. Go as elegant as possible with the tea set. Everything else just complements the main service. Cups need not match, but should be without cracks or chips. Mugs will work in a pinch, but you should make every effort to borrow or purchase a nice tea set when possible. If you are throwing a large party, you might assign different people a table each to decorate. The tablecloth should be on the plain side, allowing the center runner and tea set to shine. Decorate the center with your theme items. Remember to set them the whole table length, and to keep the height low enough that guests are not straining to see each other. Having items at different heights adds interest. Simple and elegant is always better for a tea.
Places should be set formally, according to etiquette rules. The teapot should go at one end, with neatly arranged sugar and milk. Depending upon what you are serving for refreshments, you may either want to have a separate table (definitely recommended for larger groups and young children) or put them in the center of the table on decorative dishes. Unless it is a cold-weather tea, a glass of iced water (preferably with sliced lime or lemon) can either be already poured or available.
What should you serve? This is entirely up to you. Traditionally, finger foods are the norm. But if you are throwing a period tea party, you might prepare dishes from that time. There is no wrong answer. Some traditional fare includes scones, petit fours, muffins, and finger sandwiches. Finger sandwiches are my favorite. We use white bread with tuna, chicken, or egg salad. Then cut off the crusts, and cut diagonally into four. You can also spread them with cucumber and cream cheese, or watercress and butter. Under very few circumstances should food be larger than can be consumed in three bites.